Chapter 17: Adventurous V

“Ohhhh…whooooaaaa…it’s like a dark tunnel. There’s this little opening, but then it has these walls and layers, and it’s all pink and shiny. It’s like a weird cave. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was having my first gynecological exam by my best friend, Debbie Gerber. We were seven.

She was sleeping over, and after a night of “sneaking food”—which was basically raiding the refrigerator and cupboards for crap food and chocolate—we had settled into my canopy bed (with the pull out trundle) and were ready to explore. That’s what we called it, exploring. Like Lewis and Clark on a great, unknown expedition, we were discovering and exploring our vaginas. That was my first adventure with my V. We really knew how to party then.”